we need to cosplay Johnlock and Jeanmarco together
and bake cookies using my mom’s recipe
and watch movies together in person
and go on an airplane together
and quote at each other while doing the voices
and belt songs at each other
and rent a flat
and grow a garden on the windowsill
Is this something I can’t fix?
Because if it is I’m going to try to fix it anyway
So your so-so-important blog just suddenly switched to this guy named Evan who’s posting all these suicidal posts and I do not know if that is you with a fake name or if you spontaneously gave the url away or what but I had it saved as a bookmark so it’s definitely the same one.
And I am now using one, two, three different ways (and counting) to communicate with you in the vain hope that you’ll get some sort of text alert and let me know that you haven’t killed yourself
I don’t even know your middle name
I don’t know your favorite kind of ice cream, I don’t know your favorite food, I don’t know if you’ve ever had an orgasm, I don’t know if you’ve ever knitted, if you’ve ever read a threesome fic, if you’ve been dunked underwater while swimming, where your scars are, what parts of your body make you gasp when touched, what’s the one thing in the world you need to do the most to stop hating yourself
and I swear to god I will not rest until I know these things and until I’ve told you some of my own because there are some things I need to tell you before you die
i find my cosmic insignificance reassuring
the stars don’t fucking care who i am or what i do
i owe the universe nothing
i exist on my own terms
#when existentialism becomes comforting rather than horrifying
You really are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You have the biggest capacity for strength and selflessness than anyone I’ve ever met or ever will meet. I admire you so much.